If I Fall
by Amber Thielman (Goodreads Author)
How do you survive when your best friend takes his own life?
Khloe has no idea how she’ll live without her best friend by her side. Carter was not the suicidal type, and Khloe can’t understand his leaving her so abruptly. When she finds Carter’s journal, it’s a secret portal holding all his deepest secrets. As Khloe unravels the hidden darkness of her best friend’s life—hoping to find what drove him to suicide—she struggles without him as she stumbles back into the treacherous world she’d left behind. Prescription drugs, sex, and the tip of a needle to feel her pain for her.
Her friend Ava tries to reason with her, but the more Khloe discovers Carter’s life, the less she understands. When Khloe almost goes over the edge, a handsome paramedic, Ty, saves her life and seems intent on saving her heart along with it. But the shadows that chased Carter are hot on her heels, and unless she can find the peace that eluded him, she might follow Carter past the last page.
OMG!!! I have to warn you readers, this book will rip your heart out and shove it back in your chest. You know the movie Romancing The Stone…the part where Joan Wilder is finishing her book and crying so hard and out of tissue….Yep it is like that! So be prepared with a huge box of tissues. So here it is my review as I am currently trying to get my tears in check.
Khloe is young and has many problems and addictions. A high school drop out, who’s life is not going anywhere. Then on one fateful night the fragile life she has is shattered by the death of her best friend. When Carter died the fragile life Khloe was holding on to by a string, shatters completely. On a downward spiral full of drugs and booze, Khloe’s life is hanging on by a thread.
With Carter’s journal she slowly embarks on a path to discover the why to Carter’s death. The journey that begins is not one she will truly understand till the very end. She will not be able to do this on her own, but it will take time for her to realize and accept the help of those who come into her life.
Wow! This book is the most heart wrenching book I have read in a long time. I was such an ugly crier reading this book. The story so strong and deep it really reached into my soul and ripped it out. I am still having a hard time getting the tears under control. But I have to tell you that even though this story was a dark and lonely path, it was the most beautiful story to touch my soul.
The characters in this book were so developed and deep. Each played their part in the story well. Each bringing their own to the table. Supporting one another in ways they don’t imagine. Ty for instance. He was a very big supporter. You ask the question that Khloe asks herself over and over again. Why me? Why do you want to be in my messed up world? I am not worthy of you.
Just like Jay. He has such a heart of gold and I am so glad he was there for Khloe, even though he did not know her well, he still stuck by her through it all. Even helping to step up to the plate with Ava.
This odd group of friends grow a bond that will help them all in the long run.
I must prepare you, the reader, before you begin. This story is not for the faint of heart. It may not be erotic in nature , but the darkness of the world of a addict is deeply and exactly described in clear detail. It is a world most don’t ever get introduced too, but the story that Amber has written is so real and detailed that it is like you are experiencing the horrors with Khloe. This makes for an amazing story of strength and independence. A story of love and forgiveness, unlike any other out there.
So if you want to feel and believe in the hope that we can do anything we put our minds to, then you may just be reading the right book for you. But it is not a pretty happily ever after tale. It is dark, scary and at times lonely. But it will show you strength and courage.
Bravo Amber Thielman! Bravo! An excellent read!!!!!!!!
About Amber Thielman
Amber Thielman is an avid reader and writer of dark, edgy Young Adult and New Adult books that push the boundaries and challenge your comfort zone.
Despite her love for a sappy Happily Ever After, Amber reads too much Stephen King and grew up devouring every Fear Street novel R. L. Stine ever wrote. When she’s not writing, Amber enjoys traveling, practicing the art of staying on her horse, binge-watching Netflix, and spending time with her husband and their adorable tiny human Aidyn in Southeast Idaho. She also has an undying love for pumpkin-flavored anything and boozy concoctions.
You can find Amber wasting her time on social media when she should be writing the pretty words. Join her, won’t you?